Remembering the Relationship

Dear Friend,

Thank-you for letting me join you and Joelle on this journey. I was excited when Joelle told me about First Love and what God has laid on her heart. It spoke to me in a big way. Let me explain… This year I found myself feeling distant from God. I was surprised and frustrated as I was in the Word A LOT! I was teaching Sunday school and leading a Bible study, but I didn’t feel close to God.

In time I realized I was studying God like a subject. I had forgotten about relationship. I had lost my first love. Not only had I done this in my relationship with God, but I had done this with my husband as well.

How about you? Do you walk around with the title of “wife” or “Christian”? Do you have a mental list of all the things a good wife or believer should do? Wash the dishes – check. Pray for the kids – check. Everyone has clean undies and socks in their drawers – check. Went to church – check. Was affectionate to my husband – check. Opened the Bible – check. And the list goes on.

Some days we do a great job crossing things off the list. We accomplished wonderful things for God and our family. That’s a good day, right? So why does it sometimes feel like something is missing?

Sometimes we get so focused on fulfilling a role and doing what’s right, we forget the reason we signed up for that position. We forget about the love that drove us to commit to our husband or to Christ. And somewhere along the way we find ourselves committed to a role and not a person.

Does underwear still need to be cleaned and put away? Yup. Do we still need to feed the fam, wash the dishes, and pay the bills? Definitely. Do we need to avoid lying, cheating, stealing, etc…? Uh, yeah. Are going to church and reading the Bible great things to do? You better believe it. But when they become the relationship or when a list full of checkmarks displays how well this relationship is going, then something is off kilter.

I’m reminding myself that my husband and Jesus are my best friends. Do I treat them as well as my best female friends? I don’t have lists I check off for my girlfriends. I’m trying to see my husband as not just my husband, his role to me, but as a man I’ve decided to walk beside and do life with. He’s a real person with thoughts, feelings, frustrations, preferences, and individuality. We’ve been married long enough that a reminder is needed every once in a while.

We both may be believers, but I get to have my own personal relationship with Christ. I’m trying to remember it is about relationship, not rules, religion, or serving until a state of exhaustion is reached. I get to spend time with and get to know God Almighty. How exciting is that!?! I’ve been a believer for a number of years, so every once in a while a girl needs a reminder.

Remembering the relationship,

Candace