Hello, Friend,
Do you know “Miss Loneliness”? Let me tell you about one experience I had with her, and maybe that will jog your memory. Many years ago I was invited to have lunch with a group of friends. As a young mom with an infant and toddler, the idea of having adult conversation provided enough motivation for me to get the three of us ready, packed up, and into the car. Once at the restaurant, I settled in at the end of the table as it afforded me the most room for a car seat, diaper bag, and highchair. Between all my stuff and the others sitting at the table, I thought the table was full. But Miss Loneliness found enough room next to me to squeeze in.
I found my attention became captive to a toddler who thought she was big enough to feed herself. That, trying to keep a baby satisfied, and sneaking in a bite of food when I could kept me from entering into conversation with any of my lovely friends. But that did not keep Miss Loneliness from talking at me. She droned on incessantly. I was trying to ignore her, but the things she said fed into the isolation I was feeling at the end of that table.
As the lunch wound down, I focused on cleaning up my toddler and gathering things together. At one point I glanced up and noticed Miss Loneliness had snuck out…and left me with the bill. I walked out of the restaurant that day feeling very much alone and covered in residue from her toxic words.
Unfortunately, all the attention I was getting from my two young children could not counter the effects of Miss Loneliness’ presence. Even the excessive amount of physical touch I was receiving did not satisfy that deep internal craving to connect. (I do not know about you, but being a parent of young children sometimes left me feeling like a jungle gym by the end of the day.) I also found that “me, myself, and I” were not the type of company that could fill that void. (I usually feel like I am hanging out with the Three Stooges when they are around.)
A while later, after I had scrubbed off the effects of her company, I had time to reflect. I was surprised I could feel alone when surrounded by so many people, and people that dearly loved me no less. And yet there were times I was perfectly content to have large amounts of time by myself–I even craved it. It seemed loneliness was more a condition of the heart than tied to proximity to people. Loneliness is an unanswered need.
That encounter with Miss Loneliness left me wondering how many people I come across who feel lonely unbeknownst to me. Now more recently, I have been hearing people say they feel “isolated.” I have been hearing this too often. Are you familiar with feeling alone? Feeling isolated?
Sometimes living in certain areas feeds into this feeling. It is easy to convince ourselves that the single purpose of connecting with another person is not important enough to warrant the extra miles on the vehicles and the cost of fuel. Other times we are so busy the idea of using precious minutes to simply connect with someone seems like a frivolous use of our limited time. I know–I have had these thoughts and done these things.
Our enemy wants to usher sheep (us) away from the flock and keep them (us) from returning. We are much more vulnerable alone and an easier target of his lies and attacks then. (Sheep are not exactly known for being ferocious. I do not know why, but that strikes me as funny. Beware of the attack sheep–they could strike at any moment! Sorry. I digress.) Our enemy is the one whispering in our ears the reasons why we should feel lonely and why we should not do anything to change that.
“And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8 (NKJV)
God is always with us, and He knows everything about us. Thus, He knows where the lonely are–whether working behind a desk, scrolling through Facebook, or sitting at the end of a table. No matter where we are, He sees us. He knows the condition of our hearts and wants to meet us in those places, satisfying that internal need. The Lord wants to encourage those who feel forsaken and disheartened.
If you are feeling alone or isolated, take a moment to acknowledge God’s Presence and connect with Him. Allow Him to speak to the reason why you are in that position. Have you hidden yourself away? Are you running from a situation? Is it simply that you have gotten busy and not connected with someone recently? God can help us no matter what the cause of our loneliness.
God created us for relationships. So He understands our need for connection with not only Himself, but people as well. As we come to Him with our loneliness, we can ask Him who we should reach out to. Then when God puts someone on our mind, we should follow that nudge and contact them. We may have to make the first move, and, yes, I get it–this is hard to do when we feel lonely–it can feel daunting. But if I would have said something to my friends that day so long ago, I know I would have been overwhelmed with their love and attention…to an embarrassing degree, knowing them. Basically, the choice comes down to reaching out to friends or hanging out with Miss Loneliness. (And, frankly, she is terrible company.)
When we are feeling lonely or isolated may we first check our connection with Jesus. Then let’s reach out, make the call, drive down the road, and connect. May we also keep our eyes open, looking for others who Miss Loneliness is sitting with. Then let’s rescue them, inviting them to sit next to us at our table. Oh...and let’s offer to pay the bill.
Waving goodbye to Miss Loneliness,
Candace
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