Hello Friend,
Every once in a while my husband will come up behind me while I'm sitting at our kitchen counter to give me a hug. I do a quick two second adjustment - I sit up straighter, suck in my tummy, and adjust my lounge pants to disguise my lil muffin top. My husband hates when I do that, but I do it anyway. And then I giggle a little.
We women have all sorts of tricks to pull things in, tighten things up, and gird ourselves. There are girdles, spanx, sports bras, firming creams, and plastic surgery. We exercise to firm up from the inside out. (And by “we”, I mean you.) Not only that, but we often do the same to our hearts: we protect them, put up walls to keep them from being hurt, and often hide what’s deep inside of them. The firmness of my own heart was recently brought to my attention, but more on that later.
When I was younger, I wasn’t concerned about wiggles and jiggles and firming things up. That was true of my heart as well. My heart was soft and free. This could be seen in the way I played with my Barbies. I would spend hours weaving stories of life, birthday parties, and love. My Ken doll made a fine prince/hero in spite of his arms falling off during wardrobe changes. (I blame my sisters.) I faintly remember “borrowing” my sister’s plastic horse for Ken to come riding in on. Oh, the fantastic adventures we had!
The whole fairy tale scenario, a sentiment many of us shared as young girls, seems to be tarnished or removed altogether by life over time. But I wonder if God is the one who originally placed all those blissful ideas in the core of our soft youthful hearts. Are all those familiar fairy tales evidence of yearning for His story?
Reminiscing about my youth stirred something deep down in my heart. And Jesus met me there. I thought about our story, and my heart caught sight of His vast love for me and became full. The Prince of Peace loved me first. He came for me. He rescued me.
And then those “firm up” thoughts came back saying, “watch those feelings and don’t get too emotionally carried away!” (Say what?!!!) Logic/intellect, wounds from human love, and not wanting to get our hopes up shadow the extravagant love that is God. I felt my heart get all spanxed up again. Humph.
That whole experience opened my eyes and showed me the condition of my heart. How often do I come before God with my heart protected? We tell ourselves we need discernment and wisdom when we go about our daily life. We need to protect our hearts, so we aren’t tossed around by feeling alone. And our faith needs to be based on more than just emotional encounters, as our hearts can be deceitful. I get that. But do we take time to uncover and free our heart when we come before our Lord? I now realize, I don’t always.

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